Space, the final frontier.  These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. It’s continuing mission: to seek out new life & new civilizations;  to explore strange, new worlds; to boldly go where no one has gone before.

 

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Entrepreneurs, Enterpise,& Innovation

Posted in Encouragement

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Posted in Writing

Embracing the power of the pen

“With God all things are possible.”

This post is dedicated to all of the people I’ve met throughout my life that taught me lessons.

To my parents who have loved and supported me unconditionally during the difficult and simple  times of my life, thank you for never giving up on me.

To my brother who has achieved and accomplished so much in his life by studying hard and working for it.  I am so proud of you!

To my aunt… words cannot even begin express what an impact you have made upon my life.  I  love you. I will always love you and you will always be my aunt Sabina!

Several years back after being released from a mental health facility I began seeing a therapist as part of my ongoing treatment. Together we sat down and went through what I can only describe as an extremely thorough list of questions about thoughts, feelings, and different states of mind that I had experienced. Answering some of the questions were easy, while others were extremely difficult. During any mental health evaluation there are two questions that are asked:

  1. Do you have thoughts of harming yourself?
  2. Do you have thoughts of harming others.

The second question has always been the easier of the two for me, the answer being no. As an adult I have experienced physical violence and emotional harm inflicted by others first hand and witnessed it enough to know there is enough violence in the world without me adding to it.

The first question is more complex. Most days the answer is no. The complexity of it is what lies beneath the surface of my thoughts and feelings. Most days I don’t feel sad, angry, or experience intense feelings of loneliness and isolation, then there are other times I do.

When I think of what prompted me to begin writing this it’s not a single incident, however the most recent being diagnosed with bone cancer in my spine this past February.  I have been struggling emotionally, feeling so overwhelmed at times with deep feelings of sadness, anger, no pissed off because I just do not understand.  At times it has been difficult for me to face this diagnosis and I shut down, unable to do the simplest, day to day tasks, yet somehow I manage.

 

Posted in Writing

Equine Dawn

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As I woke up this morning collecting my thoughts and waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, I went outside walking through the backyard and into the pasture directly behind the house.  The full moon shone brightly in the distance, hanging upon the horizon.  There I discovered a horse and and pony.

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We both were hesitant, approaching one another with an heir of caution.  I reached out slowly and the grey steed sniffed my hand; as if to be sure I was friendly but also taking notice of any food that I might have to offer.  The pony remained at a distance, never approaching the fence, as though he was not entirely intrigued or impressed by my presence.  Horses take me back to when I was a child on my grandfathers ranch.

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Such beautiful and majestic animals but sleep was still heavy in my mind like a think fog.  We parted ways heading back to the house.  As I opened the door a  strong smell of coffee wafted into my nostrils.  I quickly poured a cup, adding cream and savoring that first sip.  Nirvana had been found.

 

Posted in Positivity & Motivation, Writing

Wild wings of Wonder

Wings lift us to higher heights, bringing a new and broad perspective that allow us to see the bigger picture. I’ve been struggling recently with my cancer diagnosis. Moments of terror at the very real possibility my life could be over, followed by an overwhelming flood of emotions ranging from anger that this is what life has handed me, powerless that I had no control in this decision and how cruel and unfair all of this is, and the very humbling realization that a part of my life is in the hands of others. Several of my hopes writing this blog are that it reaches anyone with cancer or those who know someone with cancer; and that within these posts you find encouragement when you think you can’t, inspiration when everything seems bleak, and most importantly, to know that you are not alone in your journey.