So when I was 17 I hitch-hiked from Denver, CO to San Franscisco, CA with a my roommate at the time, Gina. I had a few reservations at first… Anything that could possibly go wrong — worst case scenarios, psychos with horribe intentions, being hurt or possibly killed, or worse… — I also thought about how it could turn out to be an incredibly awesome adventure — which it was! A little crazy and no one died! I got to see part of the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Los Angeles(One of the dirtiest metropolitan areas until you read the Pacific. Eventually we made it to San Franscisco on a greyhound around mindnight. We immediately made our way to Haite-Ashberry. I LOVED IT!!! The diviersity, the houses, the shops. I found Mecca, the New Jerusalam, Shangri-La. Gina and I walked around for about an hour when this guy in a black leather jacket walking toward us stopped and asked us if we wanted to buy a sheet. We weren’t looking to being commited to a psychiatric facility or going to jail. PASS! We said no to drugs and continued on our way. Gina gently tugged on my sleeve wanting me to stop. I turned toward her and she had this look on face… OH NO! We didn’t have enough for a sheet but we had cash. She took off after him with our cash disappearing in a sea of people. I found a coffee shop, order a mocha frappachina, an onion bagel with cream cheese, found a seat by some windows so I could watch for Gina, hoping she wouldn’t be gone very long. 15 minutes passed. Then 20. I wasn’t freaking out, but I was worried. Where the fuck was she!? 5 more minutes passed. I could feel anxiety cascading into a full blown panic attack when out of nowhere she sits down with me and a guy and girl. Gina knew the girl from Denver. Her name was Toni. Toni and her ‘old man’ as she called him were hungry and had not eaten all day. We ditched the over priced coffees and bagels and found a buger joint to buy them a warm meal. They had very little cash but quite a bit of pot which they graciously smoked with us. After we parted ways, Gina and I went to the bathroom and she pulled out two 10-strips. She was going to eat all of hers. I erred on the side of caution only eating 3, then 2 more after listening to her call me a pussy for 10 minutes. The following 20 hours are somewhat difficult to describe. The lights were bright, the colors intense, the tracers and trails, fits of laughter, confusion, madness. I peaked aroudn 4 or 5am. Words had lost their meaning. I sat in serenity watching the sun rise as the fog rolled off the city. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen clouds like that before in my life. Occasionally they reappear, briefly wisping across the Texas sky. Gina on the other hand was not quite right afterward having an emotional breakdown. She called her foster parents back in Denver. I phoned mine. They bought us tickets home. She took the train and I jumped on a Greyhound, riding it all the way back to East Texas.
What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why
by Edna St. Vincent Millay
What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply,
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in the winter stands the lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet knows its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone,
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.
Notes in the key of love
blooms of the creation
a seed is sown
below fertile soil
in darkness kept
dampness boils
an outer shell
slowly softens
the seed takes hold
roots grabbing earth
foundations firm
stems forcefully seek
air and light
from tiny buds
leaves sprout forth
dancing on wind
flowers bloom with mirth
singing songs to bees
wilting soon
leaving only seed
Vacant Ghosts
silence consumed
lips
devouring thoughts
lost in a haze
of dysphoria
only broken
by famished words
of wisdom
Albums Worth Owning
The first CD I remember purchasing was Fumbling Toward Ecstacy by Sarah McLachlan. I later bought albums by Concrete Blonde, Celine Dion, & Madonna. I’ll never forget the first concert I attended. I was in high school & local radio station was giving away tickets to the 10th caller for Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill tour. It truly was amazing! The opening band was K’s Choice and they rocked! Over the years I have spent a small fortune on concerts, raves, cd’s, & digital downloads. Listed below are a few of my favorite albums in no particular.
Petal Haiku
Soft petals open
Revealing hidden beauty
Fragrance emerges
Apollo rising on the Coast
A soft breeze filled with the smell of salt blew in from the sea. Shades of deep blue and teal extended from a sandy shore extending for miles, only broken by mountainous islands reaching out of Aegean waters. Dorin laid in the sand, his head resting on a shirt he’d fashioned into a pillow the night before. He opened his eyes, rousing from sleep and sat up in a wide cave. Wood still smoldered about 4 feet away in the middle of a shallow cave he’d where he’d camped. Groggy, he stood, brushing off sand that had clung to his clothes and hair. He made his way out toward the mouth of the cave. There was a small village two or three miles up the north shore he’d visited a three weeks ago. Late one night he was having drinks and dancing, that’s when he met her, Cynthia. Fair skinned, red hair, and striking green eyes. She was quite lovely. Visiting Europe for a month long vacation. Dorin felt a gaping pit in his stomach. Three days ago he and Cynthia ran into Timur, a former associate of his. The two men exchanged parse words and a fight ensued. Dorin walked away with a black eye and sent Timur on his way, or so he thought. Around 2am the door crashed in and there stood Timur holding a gun. He’d also brought some muscle with him as well. The two men spoke to each other in Russian, then his henchman swung his fist, hitting Dorin in the side of the face, knocking him out. When Dorin awoke, Cynthia was gone and a note was left on a nightstand beside the bed. Timur had taken her and would contact him later with further instructions.
Amorous Attracíon
Nothing had been working towards Ophelia’s favor since the end of last year. In fact everything you could possibly imagine going wrong has. Her mother disappeared, going M.I.A while traveling in Europe just after Halloween. She last spoke with her on the phone on November 4th. She’d met a man from Romania. His name was Dorin. He was handsome, dark hair, a chiseled jaw, and appeared to be close in age her mother. She sent an email with a picture attached of the two of them on the beach in the south of France. Her mother had an aire of giddiness and excitement in her voice that made her sound as though she were a teenager. It was the first time in two years since her father had passed away that she sounded happy. She was due to fly back November 21st but the hotel in London said she never checked in. No phone calls. Emails. Nothing. She contacted the U.S. Embassy and the London Police Department. It was to early to file a missing person however the calls were enough, documenting her disappearance for the time being. Olivia told herself she had done all she could do and prayed her Cynthia would resurface before further investigation was required.
Musings Magnified 
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